Oh, deer!

The other day, as I was headed into the garage, movement caught my eye through the window of the man door to my right. Looking through the window and the deck wires beyond, I caught a glimpse of reddish tan fur. Sure enough, one of our little island deer was happily sampling a hens-and-chicks plant. (sigh)

So, I stuck my head out the door and hollered, “Shoo!”

She raised her head to look at me, then resumed munching. (scowl)

I went out onto the deck and shouted, “Scram!” I was just two feet from her.

Again, she raised her head and looked at me with her curious doe eyes.

I lifted both arms to wave her away while boldly saying, “Go!”

She nodded her head in time to my up and down arm movements, especially watching my hands.  Hmmmm….  Experimenting, I thrust my hand through the deck wires toward her, palm up.

Her ears perked, and she took a step toward me! Someone’s been feeding these hairy leeches! (smirk)

I pulled my hand back and told her, quite matter-of-factly, that she obviously gets tasty food elsewhere and wild plants all over the place. I pointed at the grasses down the hill from where we stood.

She watched my hand.

“Look,” I reasoned. “There’s no reason to eat our plants here when you have alternatives.”

Her response was to lower her head and sample the nearest succulent again! (frown) The brazen beast!

I used my disciplining voice this time. “No!”

She jerked up her head. We had a minute of stare down before she casually moved to sample the next plant a bit further away from me.

“No! Not that one either!”

She put her ears back, but stubbornly kept her head down as she went to the next succulent further away.

Before her teeth even reached the bulbous leaves, I scolded, “No!”

She raised her head and stared at me again.

“You’re not grasping the concept here. Look at…” I started gesturing at the wild plants all around when she interrupted me by moving to a clump of mondo grass a bit further away.

“No! For crying out loud, leave our plants alone!”

She moved to the next furthest mondo clump and looked at me before starting to lower her head.

“No! Just no! Vamoose!”

She started lowering her head.

“No!” I sighed. “Please…would you pleeease just leave?”

She looked at me for several minutes. Then, she turned, stepped over the short stone wall, and slowly wandered away down our driveway.

Perhaps all I had to do was say, “please,” in a pathetic enough tone.